


Happier Season

by thatnerdemryn



Series: Em's Femslash February 2021 [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Based on Happiest Season (2020), Bonding, Clary is Abby, Drinking & Talking, F/F, Falling In Love, Femslash February 2021, Heidi is Harper, Izzy is Riley, mentions of internalized homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29780547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/pseuds/thatnerdemryn
Summary: She wasn’t supposed to be Clary Fray; an art student, out and proud lesbian, strong and brave feminist. No, she was supposed to be Clarissa; a business student, as heterosexual as they come, and anorphanwho relied on Heidi for a family.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood
Series: Em's Femslash February 2021 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144373
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Happier Season

**Author's Note:**

  * For [villiageidiot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/villiageidiot/gifts).



> For Em's Femslash February free-for-all. Kelly asked for a Happiest Season fix-it ft. Clary and Izzy and all I could say was YEAH.

Clary wandered the streets of the small New York town alone, wishing that the cold air would quell the annoyance bubbling inside of her. She wanted so badly to just be with Heidi while she explored the town she grew up in, but instead, she was on her own, doing anything she could to stay away from the house she had thought she was invited to as herself.

She wasn’t supposed to be Clary Fray; an art student, out and proud lesbian, strong and brave feminist. No, she was supposed to be Clarissa; a business student, as heterosexual as they come, and an  _ orphan _ who relied on Heidi for a family. She should have left the moment Heidi asked her to be anything other than herself, but she wanted to make their relationship work. She had never been so in love with someone before, or so she thought. 

“Hey,” a vaguely familiar voice knocked Clary from her thoughts and when she glanced up from the snow-wet cement, Heidi’s childhood girlfriend, Izzy, stood in front of her. 

“Uh, hi,” Clary said nervously, wiping beneath her eyes to ensure it wasn’t obvious she was crying over her dinner a few moments earlier. 

“We meet again,” Izzy teased, widening her eyes playfully. Clary huffed out a laugh, grateful that she still had the ability to do so, and nodded slowly. 

“Yeah,” Clary agreed lamely.

“No Heidi?” Izzy asked and Clary nodded quickly, gulping down the leftover emotion in her throat. 

“No, uh, she’s with her family? I’m gonna meet up with her in a little bit!” Clary said overly enthusiastically because she couldn’t really say anything else without sounding completely pathetic. She glanced down at the bag Izzy was holding and changed the subject easily, “What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s--” Izzy cut herself off and glared at Clary with a teasing glint in her eye. “I can’t tell you that because it’s for the Yankee Swap,” Izzy said, hiding the bag behind her back and out of sight. 

“Oh, you go to that?” Clary asked. It wasn’t that she  _ cared _ that Heidi’s childhood love was still so close with her girlfriend, but it definitely seemed strange that Clary didn’t know that before the trip. 

“Yeah, our families get together every year, unfortunately,” Izzy said with a roll of her eyes. She seemed to notice who she was speaking to and corrected, “I mean, it’s like the best party of the year!” Clary couldn’t help but laugh again and Izzy laughed along with her, both of them nervously rocking back and forth on their heels. It was like neither of them wanted to go their separate ways, but Clary knew they couldn’t stay.

“I’m, um, really glad I ran into you, actually,” Clary began in mock seriousness, “cause I’m having this thing where if I stick my finger in my eye, it, like,  _ really _ hurts.” She finished with a joking smile on her face. The one conversation they had prior revolved around people asking Izzy for ridiculous medical advice the second they found out she was a doctor so Clary had to play around with her a bit. She thought for a moment that Izzy hadn’t remembered their talk until she replied.

“Oh, hmm. That sounds like a classic case of,” Izzy looked up in thought as if scanning through years of textbooks in her mind before glaring back at Clary, “contact stupiditis. Because it’s a stupid thing to do.” 

“Wow,” Clary said, mock impressed as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Yeah, very dangerous. Once you get to the finger-poking stage, you’re pretty much on your deathbed,” Izzy said, looking almost regretfully at Clary. 

Giggles bubbled out of her again and before Clary could think about it, she blurted, “I would really like to drink some alcohol. Do you know where I could do that?” Izzy considered the question and glanced up at the sky before her gaze met Clary’s again. 

“Yes, but only if I can tag along?” Clary nodded because there was no way she was drinking alone again. 

* * *

The last place Clary expected the small bumpkin town in upstate New York to have was a bar complete with drag queens. When they walked in, Clary grinned at the two women up on stage with their makeup impeccably done and their wigs perfectly placed. She had always appreciated good art and drag makeup definitely counted as such. They were playing what sounded like joyful Christmas music but Clary was pretty sure the lyrics were probably raunchy. 

“What can I get you both?” The bartender said as they walked up to the counter. 

“I’ll have a whiskey and coke,” Izzy shouted with a wink and Clary held up two fingers to tack on a duplicate drink for herself. She wasn’t sure what she was in the mood for, but whiskey sounded like the best way to drown her sorrows and warm her frozen body. They both watched the queens perform, laughing and clapping along to their wonderful songs, the tension easing from Clary’s shoulders every passing minute. 

“Alright, so, you have to tell me,” Izzy began once the bartender handed them their drinks and gestured to the newly open booth a few feet away.

“What do I have to tell you?” Clary asked as Izzy held out a hand, gesturing for Clary to head over first. They sat down together on the same side of the booth so they could both see the performers and Izzy glanced at Clary consideringly. 

“What are you doing here with  _ Heidi? _ ” Izzy asked with no hesitation in her voice. Clary choked on her drink and sputtering, grabbed at the napkins on the table. Before she could get a hold of them, Izzy held her chin in her grasp and wiped at her face gently with her thumb, a teasing smile on her lips. 

“I can’t believe you just  _ asked _ that!” Clary mumbled, not making a move to pull away from Izzy even if she knew she should have. Izzy looked so good from up close. Heidi’s eyeliner was always overdone and she never wore any lipstick, but Izzy was the exact opposite. There was barely any makeup on her eyes, just mascara darkening her already stunning brown eyes, and dark red lipstick drawn flawlessly on her supple lips. Still, Clary was drawn to her beauty in almost every way she had presented it. 

Izzy laughed and leaned back, sipping her own drink before she said, “She must have told you that I was a straight-to-the-point kinda girl. You and I are alike in more ways than one.” Clary looked away, unsure how to tell Izzy that there wasn’t much Heidi told her besides the bare minimum to prepare her for their eventual meeting during the trip. She was supposed to hate Izzy on principle, but she found that it wasn’t that easy. 

“I mean…” Clary trailed off and sipped her drink slowly, already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol easing her nerves. She stared over at the drag queens, wishing it was enough to drop their current subject, but she should have known Izzy would push it. 

“She--” Izzy gaped at Clary who held back her laughter by pressing her lips together. “What  _ has _ she told you about me?” Izzy asked. Clary couldn’t blame her. If she had her ex’s current girlfriend in reach during her last relationship, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from getting all the dirty details. 

“How are we alike?” Clary countered, but when Izzy said nothing further, she sighed. “She told me that you were her first girlfriend in high school,” Clary offered, “that’s about it.” Izzy seemed to consider the lack of information for a moment and chewed on her bottom lip like she wanted to say something. Clary prompted, “Is there more?” 

“Yeah, a little,” Izzy said unhelpfully. She continued to stare at Clary and after a few moments, she sighed as if relenting to Clary’s pleading gaze. Clary was glad her pity was clearly evident on her face. “We were inseparable as kids. Best friends turned lovers turned almost enemies in the matter of a few years.”

“Enemies?” Clary asked. When Izzy glanced away, Clary reached out to grab onto her hand, lacing their fingers together in what could have been seen as a friendly gesture if she hadn’t hidden them underneath the table. 

Izzy nodded and continued, “We kept it a secret - obviously - and when one of our others friends found out, Heidi, she, uh--” Clary squeezed Izzy’s hand tightly, reassuringly, needing to hear the story almost as much as it seemed Izzy needed to share it. “She wasn’t ready and that was okay for me, but she told everyone I was bi. She tried to tell me later that the only reason she said anything was because she thought I was ready to come out, but--”

“But it should’ve been your choice, not hers,” Clary finished. All Izzy did was nod in acceptance, but when Clary said nothing further, she spoke again. 

“Everyone found out. I mean, small town high school meant everyone knew everyone’s business, you know? And they were  _ so awful _ . I mean, I had my siblings - Alec and Jace, you haven’t met them yet - around to beat up anyone who made a noise about it, but that didn’t stop me from knowing what was happening. Kids are cruel,” Izzy finished, holding her glass up for a cheers as if pretending the past didn’t hurt her as much as was evident on her face. 

Clary clanged their glasses together and muttered, “I’m sorry. I-- I’m really sorry.” She knew it couldn’t make much of a difference, but she still felt like she needed to apologize for Heidi. Having the choice to come out on your own terms taken away was horrible, especially when it was by someone a person thought they loved. 

“Yeah, so…” Izzy cleared her throat like the conversation had gotten just a bit too serious for her to handle, “what I meant is that we’re alike because we were - or are in your case - in love with someone who’s too afraid to show the world who they are and brings us down with them.” The word hit Clary like a ton of bricks, freezing her heart and causing her stomach to tighten. As if sensing her discomfort, Izzy squeezed Clary’s hand before she added, “But hey, that was a long time ago and--”

“No,” Clary interrupted, removing her hand from Izzy’s. “It might have been a long time ago for you, but that insight just proves that Heidi is exactly the kind of person she’s been proving herself to be this entire trip,” Clary explained, tossing back the rest of her drink just as one of the drag queens wandered over to their booth. 

“What are we celebrating, gorgeous?” She asked, twirling a strand of Clary’s fiery hair in her perfectly manicured finger. 

“I am celebrating the end of my unhappy and unhealthy relationship,” Clary cheered, glancing over at Izzy who shook her head with a wide grin on her face. Izzy gulped down the rest of her drink in solidarity and laced their fingers together again. Izzy’s hand felt like it was meant to fit in hers and Clary wouldn’t dare to let go. 

“And you?” The performer asked, leaning across the table and resting her very real looking breasts on Clary’s arms. She laughed loudly in pure enjoyment and felt the alcohol heating her skin and muddling her brain already. It was the first time in the entire trip she felt pure joy and it was all because of Izzy. 

“I’m celebrating being able to take this beautiful woman home with me tonight without any qualms, if she’ll let me,” Izzy tacked on, shooting a questioning glance at Clary. The shyness in her chocolate eyes had Clary’s heart warming out of its frozen state and her stomach erupting with butterflies as they gazed at one another. 

Clary hoped that the passionate kiss she pressed to Izzy’s lips was enough of a resounding yes. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me on [Tumblr](https://thatnerdemryn.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thatnerdemryn/) for chaotic content. 
> 
> If your looking to scream about Shadowhunters and don't know where to go, come join a super fun [Discord](https://discord.gg/5nBgEp8)!
> 
> Kudos make me smile and comments make me weep, so please leave them!


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